Carrying Love: Embracing the Burdens of Those We Cherish
Written on
Chapter 1: Understanding Love's Burden
When we think about the weight of caring for someone we love, it can seem overwhelming. We often see our loved ones as blessings rather than burdens, and we willingly make sacrifices to enhance their lives or alleviate their distress. Love, in its purest form, should bring joy.
However, as multifaceted beings, we experience love in various forms—be it for family, friends, pets, or our passions. These connections may not hold equal importance, yet they demand our attention and adaptability.
With love comes a certain degree of inconvenience and the necessity for sacrifice. For example, we might miss work to care for a sick child or postpone a long-awaited vacation to assist a parent moving into assisted living. We make these choices out of love, yet they often come at a significant cost.
Over time, the weight of these sacrifices can feel burdensome. We recognize that our actions stem from love, but we can also feel trapped by resentment and guilt. How can we cultivate the humility to bear these burdens gracefully, ensuring that our children inherit a brighter future?
Section 1.1: A Personal Journey
My mother faced the challenges of Parkinson's disease for many years. Initially, her condition was manageable. She helped care for my son, Conner, during my demanding career. I frequently called her with requests that she never hesitated to fulfill, always putting her plans aside to support us.
“Let us sacrifice our today so that our children can have a better tomorrow.” — A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
Healthy love is reciprocal; at times, we uplift our loved ones, while at other times, they support us. My mother consistently came to my aid during my busiest moments, whether by picking up Conner after school or babysitting.
But as time progressed, my mother’s health declined, and she could no longer drive. She moved into an assisted living facility, stating, “It’s better this way, Johnny. I don’t want to be a burden.” Suddenly, grocery shopping and errands were my responsibility, and every weekend was dedicated to visiting her and fulfilling her needs.
Section 1.2: The Weight of Care
None of us intend to become burdensome, yet circumstances often dictate otherwise. As my mother's health worsened, I took time off work to accompany her to numerous medical appointments. The logistics of transporting her in a wheelchair were often daunting.
The waiting rooms became a mix of frustration and cherished moments. While I sometimes felt impatient as she chatted loudly about her life, I also found joy in our conversations—reminiscing about family memories and enjoying her company.
“Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” — Samuel Smiles
After retiring, I was able to dedicate more time to my mother. I brought her favorite treats and even arranged for someone to read to her since she could no longer hold a book herself.
Fortunately, my father had the foresight to secure long-term care for my mother, allowing us to manage her needs more comfortably. There were days when I dreaded the errands, but I reminded myself that the time spent with her far outweighed any inconvenience.
Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable
The burdens we carry for our loved ones today become the memories we cherish tomorrow. Each errand and appointment was an act of love that would sustain me after her passing.
Had I chosen to be selfish, I would have missed out on the laughter and meaningful conversations that marked our time together.
“There are memories that time does not erase…Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable.” — Cassandra Clare, City of Heavenly Fire
This is how we bear the burdens of those we love: by recognizing that they are opportunities for love, gratitude, and ultimately, a chance to reflect on the time spent together.
Chapter 2: The Power of Sacrifice
The first video, What Does It Mean To Carry One Another's Burdens? explores the depth of emotional support and the importance of being there for each other.
The second video, Galatians 6:1-5 | How to Carry One Another's Burdens, delves into the biblical perspective on sharing burdens and uplifting each other in love.
Before you go
I’m John P. Weiss, a writer sharing stories and essays about life. If you found value in this piece, consider subscribing to my free Saturday Letters.