Finding Fulfillment: 3 Keys to Embracing Adulthood
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Chapter 1: The Reality of Adulthood
You might have envisioned adulthood as a thrilling journey filled with freedom and independence, free from parental control. However, as I entered my twenties, I quickly realized that the reality was far more complex. "Wait, I’m responsible for my own choices now? I can’t just blame my parents anymore?" Yes, it becomes real quite suddenly.
“As a child, I believed that adulthood would bring mature thoughts.”
? David Sedaris, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls
As a creative professional, partner, and parent with over twenty-five years of adult experience, I fully grasp the challenges that come with this phase of life. It’s not merely about lamenting that "life is difficult" whenever things go awry. Instead, focusing on the following three insights can help you maintain your confidence as you navigate adulthood.
Section 1.1: Life's Intrinsic Complexity
No matter where you are in your journey on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, life is inherently challenging. Your circumstances do not exempt you from life's relentless hurdles. While it's natural to yearn for more and seek improvement, it’s vital to remember that everyone’s situation is unique.
Even if you feel you've reached the top of the hierarchy—achieving self-actualization with your financial needs met and time to pursue your passions—setbacks can still occur. When everything seems to be going well, we often resent obstacles, as if we deserve an uninterrupted stream of good fortune.
Conversely, those lower on the pyramid may feel that achieving more will eliminate their struggles. While reaching higher levels can provide stability, it doesn't insulate you from life’s unpredictability. Accepting that unfortunate events can happen to anyone is crucial. Embrace accountability when things go wrong, and take the necessary steps to regain control of your life.
The silver lining is that tough times will eventually improve, even if it feels impossible right now.
Section 1.2: The Illusion of Perpetual Happiness
The pursuit of self-improvement is commendable, but equating success with constant happiness can be misleading. Social media often amplifies feelings of envy as we observe others seemingly living perfect lives. However, the reality is that even the individuals we admire face their own struggles.
Success doesn’t guarantee a flawless existence. The prosperous CEO you admire might be grappling with issues behind closed doors. Everyone is fighting their own battles.
While it's inspiring to look up to others, maintaining a realistic perspective is key. Adulthood should center on your personal achievements and aspirations, understanding that perfection is unattainable.
Reflect on your life—can you find joy amidst the difficulties? Recognizing the positives, despite the challenges, is essential. For me, art serves as a refuge during tough times. Picking up a pencil and sketching brings back my smile and helps me appreciate my journey.
Gratitude plays a significant role in cultivating happiness. If you’re in good health and have the ability to pursue what excites you each day, you have much to be thankful for—let that fuel your motivation.
“You’ll never see a happy ungrateful person.”
? Zig Ziglar
Chapter 2: Comparing Yourself to the Right People
In America, we often equate success with wealth, pleasure, and grandiose living. However, this definition of success isn't universal, and it shouldn't dictate your goals.
Why are you pursuing what you are? Is it a genuine desire or simply influenced by societal standards? Make intentional choices. Personally, I realized that chasing massive wealth wasn't my ultimate goal; I wanted to ensure my basic needs were met while leaving room for travel and adventure, which enrich my life.
Understanding your own needs and desires is paramount. Create a list of what truly matters to you, distinct from what you think you "should" want. Knowing your direction is essential for personal growth.
Once you clarify your aspirations, seek out individuals who have achieved what you wish to accomplish. Learn from their experiences, whether through reading or direct conversations.
You will find fulfillment when you compare yourself to those who inspire you to reach your dreams.
“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”
? Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State
Pursuing Your Dreams
Achieving your dreams may come with challenges, but creativity can pave the way to a more fulfilling life. Even engaging in your passion as a hobby can bring balance and joy.
Take ownership of your life and pursue what you love. While hurdles may arise—be it societal barriers or personal struggles—there are always avenues to explore your passions.
Plan financially to afford the freedom to engage in what you love. Seek guidance from mentors, and surround yourself with those who share your interests. Life becomes significantly more enjoyable when you connect with like-minded individuals.
Allow yourself to cherish life by structuring it around your passions. Maintain a positive mindset by practicing gratitude and minimizing the desire for excess.
“I’ve been very blessed in my personal life and in my career and I have never been ungrateful for what I have.”
? Mandy Patinkin