The Genesis of the Term

In 1959, Dr. Elliot Jaques, a psychoanalyst, introduced the concept of a midlife crisis during a lecture. He described it as a time when individuals must confront their limitations and the reality of mortality. One of his patients articulated this moment of realization: "Until now, life felt like an endless ascent, but suddenly I’ve reached the peak, and ahead lies the downhill slope with the end of the journey in sight—still distant, yet undeniably present."

While this may sound somber, it resonates with my own experience. The harsh truth hit me when I understood I wouldn't always have my parents around, and ultimately, I would face life alone amid an indifferent society.

Initially, Jaques's observations did not receive widespread attention. However, after he published his findings in 1965, the term quickly became part of the American lexicon, easily recognized by the general public.

A Personal Encounter with Crisis

Regrettably, I've witnessed many navigate their midlife crises poorly. A close friend succumbed to heavy drinking and reckless behavior, neglecting his family. His choices led to infidelity, resulting in costly consequences and estrangement from his children—an experience he now deeply regrets.

Conversely, my own pre-midlife crisis at 30, spurred by a painful divorce, forced me to reassess my priorities and contemplate what I truly wanted. By the time I approached 40, I felt mentally prepared to confront the existential challenges ahead.

Instead of perceiving a midlife crisis negatively, it can serve as a crucial wake-up call. Living without acknowledging our mortality is not a sustainable approach to life.

Seeking Balance: Hedonia vs. Eudaimonia

The journey forward is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but it may be helpful to reflect on the philosophical debate between hedonia (pursuit of pleasure) and eudaimonia (living a purposeful life). Scholars have long analyzed the benefits of each, but the truth is that a balance of both is essential.

In my case, I chose to cultivate my writing career while letting go of the expectations tied to my previous life as a financial analyst. I shifted my focus towards personal wellness, prioritizing sleep, exercise, and nutrition over fleeting indulgences.

Research indicates that life often improves after navigating this tumultuous phase. Studies reveal a "U-shaped curve of happiness," where individuals tend to be happiest at both the beginning and end of their lives, while the middle can be riddled with stress from career shifts, family responsibilities, and midlife crises.

If you currently feel overwhelmed, take solace in the fact that many older individuals express contentment with their lives. Data supports this sentiment.

The Reality of Midlife

A midlife crisis is only a true crisis if we allow it to become one. It’s also a misconception to let the fear of death dominate our thoughts during this time, as life is inherently unpredictable. I’ve lost friends to unforeseen circumstances well before their time.

Thus, it’s vital to live authentically and prioritize what brings joy. Beware of the urge to reclaim youth through reckless choices, as my friend did, starting with a long-desired sports car. While initially harmless, his behavior escalated, leading to self-destructive habits.

Instead of focusing on the negatives associated with aging, shift your attention to the benefits. Research by Arthur C. Brooks indicates that those who appreciate the advantages of growing older—like improved pattern recognition and the ability to impart wisdom—experience greater happiness than those who resist aging.

A Change in Perspective

Our mindset tends to evolve positively with age. A study led by psychologist Dr. Stefanie Brassen found that older individuals (averaging 66 years) exhibit far fewer regrets compared to their younger counterparts (averaging 25 years). We become increasingly adept at navigating life as we age.

Rather than viewing a midlife crisis as a setback, consider it a guide for making better life choices.

Final Reflections

Interestingly, the predictability of a midlife crisis often leads to confusion, regret, and fear of missed opportunities. Regardless of the paths we choose, some regrets will inevitably accompany us. We cannot live every possible life—balancing singlehood with marriage, or a corporate career with extended travel.

Trade-offs are a part of life, and making these decisions sooner rather than later can enhance our enjoyment of the journey. As scholars suggest, seek both meaning and pleasure, blending them in a manner that resonates with you.

Through this process, I’ve learned that many issues that seem critical in the moment often fade over time. I strive to savor each moment, engaging in activities that fulfill both my obligations and desires, as this is what truly enriches life.

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