Chapter 1: Understanding Dysregulation

For many, dysregulation can feel like a constant companion. Personally, I’ve struggled with this for over a decade due to depression. Often, I lack the awareness needed to pull myself out of the darkness and implement self-regulation techniques. Practices such as focusing on my breathing, meditation, affirmations, celebrating small victories, and maintaining a consistent exercise routine are essential, yet challenging.

Even if you consider yourself mentally healthy, it’s wise to recognize subtle indicators that you might be heading toward dysregulation. Think of these signs as warning lights, alerting you to potential emotional turmoil that can take hours or even days to resolve.

The clearest signs of a dysregulated state include a profound sense of disconnection, which can hinder daily functioning. This state can manifest in various ways—from intense anger to a gradual emotional numbness. Here are some physical symptoms that may signal a need for a reset:

• Persistent migraines
• Excessive gas and bloating
• Skin issues like acne or rosacea
• Changes in appetite or cravings
• Sleep disturbances
• Unexplained fatigue
• Chronic aches and pains
• Difficulty concentrating; feeling scatterbrained
• Heightened irritability or emotional reactivity
• Memory lapses and anxiety; prolonged rumination

In my own experience, self-isolation often triggers this disconnection. After losing a close friendship and facing other distressing events, I adopted avoidance as a coping mechanism. This led to an inability to process complex emotions like shock, fear, and shame. The influence of my dysfunctional family further entrenched these isolating tendencies, leaving me feeling worthless and powerless.

As a married woman and mother of two, I recognize the urgency to break free from this cycle. In late 2021, after eleven years since my first major depressive episode, I sought help from a licensed professional. This decision has opened up new avenues for coping and reconciling with my past.

Here are several strategies that have proven beneficial for me:

• Counting steps while going up and down stairs with a child in distress, focusing on our breathing to regain calm.
• Engaging in a high-intensity workout weekly while listening to mindfulness and spirituality podcasts.
• Choosing nutritious meals consistently, nurturing my body.
• Identifying triggers and observing my physical reactions to them.
• Daily Scripture reading, voicing verses, sharing journaling experiences with women in a group chat, and nightly family prayers to foster dialogue.
• Participating in a local faith community to promote collaboration.
• Prioritizing quality time with my kids and husband, including play and date nights.
• Verbalizing my feelings—whether upset, afraid, or embarrassed—rather than bottling them up until they explode.
• Expressing myself through art, music, dance, and writing, as I do in this article.

At its essence, self-regulation involves managing our natural impulses, guiding our behaviors toward socially acceptable norms. This requires careful handling of our internal experiences—our energy, emotions, focus, and actions—to help us reconnect with the present, meet our essential needs, and pursue our goals despite past traumas.

Explore the complexities of trauma, triggers, and emotional dysregulation with Anna Runkle as she shares ten effective strategies for regulating your nervous system.

Discover methods to heal dysregulation and cultivate calm within your emotions and nervous system through insightful guidance.

Chapter 2: Embracing Self-Regulation

The journey to self-regulation not only aids in personal development but also enhances emotional health. By employing these strategies, one can gradually foster a healthier relationship with oneself and others.