Chapter 1: The Shadows of Adolescence

During my teenage years, I struggled significantly with feelings of depression. Insecurities, a lack of self-confidence, and an overarching sadness prevented me from enjoying the quintessential teenage experiences, such as:

• Attending prom
• Forming close friendships
• Celebrating birthdays with friends

Instead, I often found myself isolated. Many people are taken aback when they learn this about me; after all, I was an athlete, dressed in trendy clothing, and embodied the typical characteristics of a high school jock. Yet, beneath the surface, I was profoundly unhappy.

The Root of My Discontent

The reasons behind my unhappiness remain elusive. It could have been our significant move across the country or my mother's battle with cancer when I was just eleven. Perhaps it was my father's insistence that I play sports despite my lack of interest, simply because I had talent. Regardless of the cause, this depression fostered a desire for change within me.

This yearning to be different led me to perceive the average person as flawed. I adopted a rebellious attitude—not in the conventional sense, but by becoming contrarian. I found myself engaging in arguments just for the sake of it; I wanted to emerge victorious. However, this behavior also sharpened my observational skills. To win, I had to understand others’ motivations, which allowed me to identify and exploit their vulnerabilities.

One key observation I made over time was that even those who appeared to "fit in"—the popular kids surrounded by friends—were also unhappy. It became clear to me that widespread unhappiness permeated our world.

Chapter 2: The Turning Point

In 2020, my divorce was finalized—a realization that had been evident for a couple of years. It was clear that our separate paths had diverged, and our incompatible natures made it impossible for us to remain together.

Nothing was overtly wrong; we simply weren’t meant to be. This situation is not unique to those undergoing a divorce; it resonates with many couples, even those who have no plans to part ways. It appears that many settle.

Settling isn’t limited to romantic relationships; it can manifest in careers, educational choices, or friendships. People often accept their circumstances, even when they fall short of ideal.

The Impact of Settling on Happiness

Fear of the unknown drives people to seek comfort and consistency. Change can be daunting, leading many to avoid it altogether. However, this avoidance also means shunning a life filled with genuine happiness and fulfillment. As we grow older, we may find ourselves pondering, "What if?"

I have made a personal commitment to never allow myself to fall into that trap. I deserve more, and if you are reading this, so do you.

Reflective Question: “Am I settling in any aspect of my life right now?”

If your answer is yes, it’s time to initiate change. You are worth it.

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The first video, "10 Questions to Ask Yourself to Change Your Life Before 2023," offers insightful prompts that can inspire significant transformation in your life.

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