How to Identify Valuable Life Advice

Effective advice can save you a significant amount of time and propel your life forward. Conversely, poor guidance can hinder your progress and leave you stuck in a rut. Unfortunately, much of the advice available falls into the "bad" category.

Consider this:

When I began my journey as a personal trainer, I encountered a slew of misguided recommendations, like distributing flyers at grocery stores or, more commonly, the suggestion to start a blog. Even on platforms like Medium, I often find advice from individuals who lack real-world experience.

It’s amusing to see a 23-year-old, still living at home, proclaiming how to achieve success in life. Reading a few self-help books doesn’t equate to genuine experience.

To achieve your goals, the first step is to seek out those who have accomplished what you aspire to do. If you want to become a published author, consult with one who has succeeded in that field. Aspiring to be fit? Talk to someone who embodies athleticism. Want to dominate in real estate? Connect with a successful real estate professional. Without firsthand experience, their guidance is merely speculation.

The second step, which is often neglected, is to ensure that these individuals embody the qualities you admire. There’s a saying:

“Never meet your heroes.”

I disagree—meet them, and do so in person as soon as possible. Verify that they truly reflect the values they espouse. Many self-proclaimed gurus turn out to be far from the ideal they project; they may be successful but have a darker side.

Does their advice still hold merit? Potentially. As Pamela Slim wisely stated, when dealing with such figures, limit your inquiries to "technical" advice—practical, step-by-step guidance. For instance, if you wish to learn tango from a less-than-pleasant instructor, their technical advice might still be sound. However, for more profound insights on life choices and behavior, seek someone else.

If you do find someone who embodies the qualities you aspire to, consider them a genuine mentor—someone whose guidance you can trust.

Recognizing and Acknowledging Your Mentors

A common pitfall is failing to acknowledge the mentors who provide invaluable advice. After implementing their insights and achieving success, many forget to credit those who guided them. They might present the lessons learned as their own discoveries and cease communication until they need assistance again.

This behavior is a matter of respect. We all benefit from the support of others. I believe that those who have helped us deserve recognition and gratitude.

Regrettably, I’ve experienced this too. It’s not about ownership of information (unless it’s proprietary), but rather a reflection of character. It indicates a tendency to reach out only when in need, vanishing once they’ve gained what they wanted—a rather unpleasant trait.

Embracing Your Growth Beyond Mentors

Some individuals possess an innate ability to grasp concepts swiftly. They carve out a niche, develop an idea, and adopt an unstoppable mindset, often surpassing their mentors quickly.

I’ve witnessed this in coaching circles, where certain members excel rapidly. If you find yourself in this position, congratulations! Don't shy away from outpacing those who aided you. As long as you express your gratitude and give credit where it's due, you can thrive without guilt.

Life isn't a competition; we each have our unique journeys. Problems arise when individuals, or society at large, view life as a race. This mindset breeds jealousy, envy, guilt, and fear of success. In a "scarcity" mindset, your triumph implies someone else's failure, leading to unhealthy dynamics.

Remember, life is not a competition—it's a shared experience. Stay grounded, thoughtful, and courageous as you pursue your aspirations.

Best of luck on your journey!

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