# Embracing Life Amidst Despair: A Journey Through Suicidal Thoughts
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Understanding Suicidal Thoughts
For as long as I can recall, I've struggled with thoughts of ending my life. This may be closely linked to my position on the autism spectrum and the challenges it presents in my everyday experiences. Recently, the intensity of these feelings has escalated.
One significant factor is my suggestibility. When I encounter despairing messages from others—whether online or in person—it heightens my stress levels. My mind quickly spirals into imagining the worst possible outcomes, leading me to believe they are unavoidable. This thought process often strips me of my desire to continue living in a world where:
- Our energy systems and infrastructure are failing
- The Religious Right dominates our laws and freedoms
- People engage in violent looting reminiscent of a dystopian nightmare
- Food and clean water are in short supply
- Self-appointed leaders control access to essential resources
The idea of existing in such a reality terrifies me, causing physical discomfort even as I write. The only escape I envision in such dire circumstances would be to end my own suffering.
Yet, we are not there yet, and we don't have to be, provided that those with a fatalistic outlook stop contributing to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Challenging Dystopian Narratives
My strong opposition to what I term "Dystopian Porn" stems from my frustration with those who promote such narratives. It's disheartening to see people wallow in despair while making excuses for those who push these bleak stories.
Critics often ask why I don’t simply avoid this material if it bothers me. They miss the point: it's not just about my personal discomfort. My individual voice may be limited, but the pervasive negativity can seep into our collective consciousness.
I empathize with those who have dedicated years to fighting for change; I understand exhaustion all too well. Grief is a natural response to loss—whether from war, disease, or disaster. However, indulging in grief without action can lead to paralysis. Why would one willingly dwell in darkness?
Anger often accompanies grief, but what good does it do if it doesn't spur action?
If you’re disheartened by political events, such as Donald Trump’s presidency, rather than resigning to despair, consider the power of advocacy and mobilization.
Taking Action Together
Instead of succumbing to feelings of helplessness, let’s work together towards tangible solutions:
Agricultural Security
Explore how the upcoming 2023 Farm Bill can serve as a crucial opportunity for all demographics.
Election Transparency
Advocate for reforms that hold decision-makers accountable for their actions.
Reproductive Rights
Stand firm against the threats to our freedoms, regardless of political affiliations.
Economic Reform
Engage with rural communities to promote smarter policies that benefit everyone.
Consent Education
Prioritize teaching children about personal boundaries in an inclusive manner.
Discuss Social Justice
Encourage open conversations about social issues without resorting to defensiveness.
Transcending the Patriarchy
Work towards liberation from oppressive societal structures.
I reject the notion that we are destined for dark times. I refuse to accept despair as my fate after enduring four decades of adversity.
Feel free to silence or dismiss me, but I invite you to join me in this fight for a better future. Together, we can rise above the bleak narratives that threaten to consume us.