Empower Your Recovery Journey with FASTT Check-Ins
Written on
Understanding the Importance of FASTT Check-Ins
Navigating the path of recovery can be challenging, with ups and downs that test your resolve. Over the years, many ingrained habits need to be addressed and reshaped. While some days may feel effortless, others may be more strenuous. Today, I want to introduce you to a valuable daily tool that I've utilized nearly every day for the past two years. This tool has been pivotal in my journey to overcome problematic porn use, and I believe it can offer significant benefits to you as well.
The tool is known as the FASTT check-in, originally designed by Dr. Milton Magness for individuals dealing with sexual addiction and their partners. However, its principles can be applied to various aspects of life. Below, I will explain what the acronym FASTT stands for and how to effectively implement a check-in with yourself or an accountability partner.
The Components of FASTT
- Feelings: This first element encourages you to acknowledge your internal emotional state. Reflect on whether your needs are being met or not during your check-in. Sharing your feelings honestly can help establish a foundation for your self-assessment and increase your awareness of your current emotional state. Special thanks to my mentor, Vern Tompke, the host of the podcast Finding Traction, for sharing this insight with me.
- Actions in Recovery: These are proactive steps that propel you forward in your recovery journey. I suggest starting with manageable healthy habits and routines that can be consistently maintained. As the saying goes, "to break a bad habit, you need to cultivate a good one." Forming healthy routines may take 1-3 months, so be patient and keep them simple. Examples of positive actions include:
- Getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night
- Taking walks outdoors
- Engaging in regular exercise
- Eating nutritious meals
- Limiting screen time and social media use
- Reading more books
- Spending quality time with family and friends
- Slips/Sobriety: This aspect may initially be challenging, as it requires complete honesty with your partner. It's essential to define your personal boundaries clearly from the outset. Slips can be viewed as cautionary signals—instances where you risk losing momentum in your recovery. Examples include:
- Excessive time on your phone
- Engaging in "edging" behaviors, where you linger near your personal limits
- Lying to yourself or others about questionable online activities
- Frequenting unsafe websites
- Allowing intrusive sexual thoughts to disrupt daily life
Sobriety, on the other hand, represents your "Red Line"—the point beyond which you cannot return. For many, this might mean engaging in behaviors such as watching pornography or masturbation. It's vital to identify what truly leads you down a path of negativity and embrace the understanding that recovery is a journey filled with ups and downs.
- Threats to Recovery: Recognizing potential triggers is crucial. Share with your partner anything that might provoke you, no matter how trivial it may seem. The more openly you discuss these threats, the better equipped you will be to manage them. Examples include:
- Insufficient sleep leading to poor decision-making
- Neglecting recovery actions like exercise and healthy eating
- Experiencing relationship difficulties or emotional turmoil
- Combating Threats: Practical strategies can help mitigate potential triggers. For instance, if you struggle with nighttime phone use, keep your device in another room. Other strategies may include:
- Utilizing accountability software like CovenantEyes or Accountable2U
- Implementing ad blockers to filter out explicit content
- Taking breaks from social media
- Setting time limits on specific apps
- Establishing rewards and consequences linked to your adherence to recovery rules
Executing a Successful FASTT Check-In
FASTT check-ins are designed to foster collaboration and community. While they can be conducted alone, it's beneficial to have an accountability partner. Effective ways to check in include:
- Phone calls
- Voice memos
- Emails
- Video calls (e.g., FaceTime, Zoom)
- In-person meetings
Establishing a regular frequency is also important. You may choose daily, every other day, or weekly check-ins, depending on your needs. Starting with a mentor or someone who shares your commitment level can provide essential support and accountability. My younger brother has been my accountability partner for nearly two years, and our FASTT check-ins have been instrumental in my growth and success in recovery.
Finding the Right Support
It's crucial to partner with someone who understands your journey and whose presence uplifts you rather than creating an echo chamber. Check-ins should strengthen your resolve and commitment to recovery. My brother, mentor, and therapist have all contributed to a supportive community that encourages my growth and transformation.
In conclusion, I hope that this overview of FASTT check-ins has provided you with valuable insights and practical steps to incorporate into your recovery process. Despite the challenges, I eagerly anticipate our check-ins, as they have become a vital source of support and motivation. It's not just about my journey anymore; it's about the community I've built with my brother, mentor, and therapist—it's about growth, redemption, and triumph!
For further insights on FASTT check-ins, listen to my podcast episode #18: "FASTT Check-Ins: A Powerful Recovery Tool — With My Brother, Noah," available on Apple and Spotify.