Chapter 1: The Quest for Growth

Is there a universal search within us all?

Photo by Christina Winter on Unsplash

While I have a mild interest in self-improvement literature, I've found that a significant portion suffers from poor quality or unnecessary repetition of established classics. Many works seem crafted solely to exploit the self-help market, which is a real disappointment.

However, there is a silver lining; the best narratives often serve as stories that should be seen as occasional medicine rather than comprehensive life guides. My most impactful experiences with self-help texts have always been singular moments of insight. Let me elaborate.

At eighteen, I embarked on a road trip to Texas with a friend who aimed to join a band. It was an adventure, though I arrived without any clear plans or resources. We ended up in a Dallas suburb, sharing a ranch house with two older, disillusioned hippies who spent their days indulging in marijuana. With no transportation and no sidewalks, I felt trapped in a bleak situation, leading me into a profound depression that I had never experienced before.

It was quite overwhelming.

Though I typically don’t struggle with depression, this circumstance was unbearable. Strangely, the only book in that house was Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s "The Little Prince," a touching fable about a prince living on a small planet. I found solace in its pages, reading it on the floor while tears streamed down my face.

Eventually, I called my parents and arranged to fly back home.

To this day, I’m unsure why that book resonated with me so deeply, but it has offered comfort to many readers. Saint-Exupéry was often regarded as a mystic; he was a pilot who experienced spiritual liberation while navigating the skies during the early aviation era.

Years later, out of curiosity, I revisited "The Little Prince," hoping to recapture the magic I once felt. While I appreciated its charm, it lacked the same enchanting effect the second time around.

One positive outcome from that challenging experience was my determination to cultivate inner resilience for any future hardships. I began delving into the teachings of Buddha and his disciples, exploring esoteric Tibetan practices and minimalist Zen philosophies. I ultimately gravitated toward Zen because of its abstract nature, aiming to disrupt conventional perceptions of reality.

Before my Texas journey, I had sought similar insights through psychedelics, leading to a transformative experience during my first LSD trip. It altered my perspective, but like many young people, I believed that if one experience was profound, subsequent ones would be even more so. Unfortunately, I never achieved that same transcendence again with further psychedelic explorations, so I decided to stop.

As Paul McCartney famously remarked about the Beatles' potential reunion, "you can’t reheat a soufflé." He was spot on.

If you are on a quest for growth, it needs to be sustainable, which requires setting clear goals. What do you aspire to become?

This question alone can keep you engaged for quite some time. Throughout my journey, I explored various avenues, but I realized that writing was my true calling, even as I dabbled in a semi-career of performing and recording original music. The aspiration to be a writer always guided my pursuit of becoming a better person.

Not a flawless person, but a better one. I still enjoy an ice-cold martini in a lovely bar and engaging in conversations with strangers I may never meet again. Yet, the term "never" can be misleading.

I once met a woman in a hotel bar near my home; she was from Southern California, visiting to establish a branch of her business. We strolled to a nearby restaurant for dinner, and it never felt like a date. I made a judgment based on her Patek Philippe watch, deeming her too high-maintenance for my taste. It seemed unlikely that we would cross paths again.

Fast forward twelve years: we ended up keeping in touch and eventually traveled together. She entered a serious relationship, and our communication dwindled. After she sold her company, fate led her back to my area, this time with her partner.

They eventually parted ways, and we reconnected. So much for "never again."

My journey of growth, despite its somewhat cliché label, persists. If you had asked me two decades ago if I would still be evolving in my sixties, I would have struggled to envision it.

This journey has no definitive conclusion. It's crucial to recognize that there are no ultimate happy or unhappy endings, no state of nirvana. The term "Buddha" translates to "The Awakened One," and his teachings aim to help us awaken from our limited perceptions of the world. This quest is the fundamental essence behind the self-help movement and the psychedelic practices that permeate our culture today.

We all strive to nurture and strengthen ourselves for those challenging moments—not in material wealth, but in spiritual richness.

I see this pursuit in everyone I encounter, even if they are not consciously aware of it. Too often, people are prescribed medications to numb feelings without addressing the root causes, resulting in a society that is disconnected from the intensity of life.

My aim is to remain unmuted and fully aware. Writing serves as a therapeutic outlet because genuine expression requires both intense and quiet life experiences. I need to live fully to articulate my thoughts effectively.

So do you.

Hey writers! If you're interested, check out my newsletter, The Grasshopper. It delves into writing techniques, lifestyle, inspiration, creativity, and the frustrations that come with it. I'm thoroughly enjoying the process of writing it weekly. If you're curious about the origin of the name, take a look at the first issue (and don’t worry—there are many more to come!). Oh, and it's free!

Chapter 2: The Search for Inner Strength

In this chapter, we explore the deeper motivations behind our quests for growth and resilience.

This video, "Your Inner Hero's Journey: A Personal Growth Quest Through Your Inner World Intro Lecture," offers insights into the transformative power of personal narratives and the journey of self-discovery.

In "The Never-Ending Quest for Personal Growth: A Candid Conversation with Brandon Lowery," the discussion reveals honest reflections on the continuous journey of personal development and self-improvement.