Chapter 1: The Unexpected Call

It’s hard to believe my dwindling faith in humanity could sink even lower…

Kristen Stark and Christopher Robin, what on earth am I supposed to do now? It has officially happened—I have run out of f*cks to give, and I’m at a loss for what to do next.

You might be wondering how I got here. Well, for those who don’t know, I managed a home daycare for nine years before relocating last December. I did everything required: I returned my license to the state, explaining my move (most daycare licenses aren’t transferable), I took down my website, and I filled my business’s Facebook page with posts announcing my closure.

I thought I had everything covered before I packed up and left for my new home.

However, it seems I overlooked a crucial detail. My business line used to direct inquiries to my landline, but once I canceled that, the calls forwarded to my mobile. Not a big deal, right? Apparently, Google didn’t get the memo, as I still receive sporadic inquiries about childcare. Typically, I clear things up quickly, apologizing and informing the caller that my daycare is no longer in operation. If they’re polite, I send them a list of trusted local providers and wish them luck. Most appreciate it, while others simply hang up. No big deal.

But yesterday… where do I even start? I can’t believe this caller pushed me to the point where I realized I had no f*cks left to give! Here’s how the conversation unfolded:

Ring, ring… my phone lights up with an unfamiliar number from my previous state. Against my better judgment, I answer.

Me: Hello?

Her: Hi! Is this {name redacted} Home Daycare?

Me: It was, but I’m sorry to say I had to close due to my move.

Her: …Are you sure?

Me (attempting humor): I certainly hope so; otherwise, I’m in the wrong house!

At that moment, I should have sensed I was dealing with a "Karen." Interacting with entitled individuals typically ruins my day, and I should have hung up right then. Unfortunately, I continued down this rabbit hole.

Me: Yes, ma’am, I’m closed. If you check the most recent post on that page, you’ll see…

Her (interrupting): I’m looking at the page RIGHT NOW! I see all the cute pumpkin plants with the kids' names on them and the adorable gingerbread houses you made for Christmas! I DON’T THINK YOU’RE CLOSED!

Recognizing the desperate tone in her voice, I sensed she needed childcare urgently but had waited too long to secure it. I understand the struggle, especially with the impact of COVID-19 on daycare availability and rising prices. But how am I supposed to help her?

Me: I assure you, I’m closed. My house sold in early January, and I no longer reside in {state}.

Her (raising her voice): YOU’RE LYING! You just don’t want to help me! I can see your posts with all the happy faces! YOU. ARE. A. LIAR!

Why didn’t I just hang up???

Me (frustrated and letting my inner sass take charge): You know what? You’re absolutely right! Why don’t I give you my new address and we can set up an interview?

Her (sounding relieved): Great! What’s your address? I can come by tomorrow after work.

Inner Sass Me: That’s wonderful! Here’s my new address…

Her: …Um, but that’s in {my new home state}.

Inner Sass Me: Indeed! Make sure to leave work early tomorrow! It’ll take you about six hours by car or two by plane. Better yet, you might want to take the day off to make the trip!

Her: So… you’re not running a daycare anymore?

Inner Sass Me: NO!

Her (stuttering): But your posts! They’re all recent!

I allowed my inner sass to take a backseat as I rubbed my forehead, trying to dispel the headache she was causing.

Me: Ma’am, what are the dates on the posts you’re referencing?

Her: …December 19 and October 17.

Me: What year?

Her (sheepishly): …Oh, those were posted in 2019…

At this point, I thought the conversation might be over, but clearly, that wasn’t the case.

Her (the "Karen" resurfacing): Why would you move when you’re needed here?! Do you know how hard it is to find good daycare?! Everyone I’ve talked to raves about you!

Me: I’m truly honored, but lady, I can’t help…

Her (loud and angry): I can’t wait to tell everyone what a terrible and selfish provider you are! I bet you’re shady, too! I’m going to REPORT YOU!!!

For those unfamiliar with daycare language, “I’m going to report you!” is equivalent to “Let me speak to your manager!”

Me: Feel free! Here’s my old license number {rattling off the number I held for nine years} and {name redacted}, my analyst. But I should warn you, he’ll probably just laugh at you since I’ve been closed for five months and he’s quite busy!

Her: HOW DARE YOU!!! Is this how you treat your clients?! When I’m done, NO ONE will ever hire you again!

Me (mirroring her tone): I truly hope so! I. DO. NOT. RUN. A. DAYCARE. ANYMORE!!!

She began yelling something incoherent. At this point, I decided to at least try to extend a tiny f*ck. I understand that finding daycare is challenging and often costly. She’s probably let her desperation get the best of her.

I started searching my pockets for any remaining f*cks. Nothing. I rummaged through my desk drawers and bookshelves. Still nothing.

Oh, no…

While she continued to hurl threats, I frantically searched every known place where I might keep a few f*cks handy. All the usual spots were empty, even the tiniest ones.

I even dug through my bra—desperately hoping I’d stashed an emergency one in there!

Nope! All I felt were the external organs that now resemble blob fish unless contained within a Victoria's Secret Demi Bra.

Once I realized I was officially out of f*cks, I let her finish her tirade before finally saying:

“Lady, I wish I could assist you. But the truth is, I don’t give a f*ck because I have none left to give. Good luck finding care for your little ones.”

And with that, I hung up and blocked her number.

Chapter 2: The Reality of Daycare

The first video titled "For F*ck's Sake" humorously addresses the absurdities we face, much like my own experience. It's a reminder that sometimes, we just need to laugh it off.

The second video, "KIL - FOR FUCK'S SAKE! (Official Music Video)," adds another layer of humor to our frustrations, illustrating that we’re not alone in these chaotic moments.

Thanks to Kristen Stark and Christopher Robin for inspiring this post! Their "Gave Away My Last F*ck" stories are even more entertaining than mine, and I highly recommend checking them out.

Thank you for taking the time to read my tale! I’m truly grateful for your attention. Remember to care for yourself; there’s only one YOU, and YOU are cherished!

I love you, and there’s nothing you can do about it! ❤ Love, Dani

If you’re new here and want to learn more about me, check out my personal stories. I look forward to connecting with you! ❤