Trad Wives vs. Working Women: An Exploration of Happiness
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Chapter 1: The Irony of Feminism Through a Retro Lens
I occasionally find myself watching reruns of I Love Lucy, which offers a bittersweet reflection on the irony of feminism. Lucille Ball, the show’s leading lady, was a savvy businesswoman who co-established Desilu Productions, a notable film company that took over RKO Studios. However, on screen, she embodies the role of a clueless housewife, more concerned about dinner than her career aspirations.
In a fittingly titled episode, "Job Switching," Lucy and her friend Ethel decide to trade roles with their husbands, Ricky and Fred, for a week. Initially, Ricky impresses Lucy with an elaborate dinner, which turns out to be a cleverly arranged takeout from a local restaurant. Chaos ensues as the men attempt to navigate the kitchen, failing spectacularly in the process—a classic portrayal of the bumbling husband stereotype.
On the flip side, Lucy and Ethel land jobs at a chocolate factory, but their lack of skill leads them to the wrapping department, where they hilariously wreak havoc. The episode's underlying message is clear: the status quo is best maintained, with women finding fulfillment in domesticity while men thrive in the workforce.
However, this notion has been challenged by decades of feminist progress.
Section 1.1: The Shifting Landscape of Women's Rights
Prior to 1964, businesses could legally refuse to hire women. Even in the 1970s, job listings were often categorized by gender. Today, however, younger women are making strides toward closing the wage gap in numerous cities.
In the past, women faced barriers in housing and education. For example, men vastly outnumbered women in U.S. colleges in 1960, while today, women make up a larger portion of those enrolled. Similarly, women have made significant gains in property ownership and access to credit.
Despite these advancements, a paradox emerges: women today report lower levels of happiness compared to previous generations. A groundbreaking study by researchers Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers in 2009 highlighted a troubling trend: the percentage of women expressing high levels of happiness has decreased annually, even in countries where gender equality has improved.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Rise of the "Trad Wife" Movement
In response to this decline in happiness, some Christian influencers advocate for a return to traditional gender roles, known as the "trad wife" movement. This trend romanticizes the 1950s lifestyle, where women are portrayed as homemakers in a picturesque setting, swapping recipes and domestic tips online.
However, critics argue that this nostalgic view glosses over the systemic inequalities of the past. Some influencers have revealed their struggles, including stories of domestic abuse and unfulfilling marriages. The allure of a simpler life often ignores the complexities and hardships that many women faced in those times.
Chapter 2: The Complexity of Modern Happiness
In the video "Ex-Trad Wives Get Candid About the Downside of the Lifestyle," former trad wives share their experiences and the realities of their choices, challenging the idealized version of traditional living.
The second video, "Trad Wives Vs Modern Women," explores the contrasting perspectives of women in traditional roles and those pursuing careers, highlighting the nuances of happiness in both lifestyles.
Section 2.1: The Roots of Unhappiness
The disparity in happiness among women today can be attributed to several factors, including societal expectations and the pressure to achieve. While 1950s women accepted their roles with little question, modern women face a barrage of comparisons, especially through social media.
As René Girard noted, envy can be a significant source of unhappiness, driving women to compare their lives to those they see online. This phenomenon creates a cycle of expectation and disappointment, where reality fails to meet the ideal.
The concept of "negative prediction error," as defined by neuroscientists, explains how our brains react to unmet expectations. For instance, the disappointment of expecting a chocolate chip cookie but receiving a vegan alternative exemplifies this idea.
Section 2.2: The Persistent Burden of Domesticity
Despite fewer domestic responsibilities compared to previous generations, women today often juggle multiple roles, balancing work and home life. The 2023 American Time Use Survey reveals that while men and women spend similar hours on work, women still take on a larger share of household chores.
The paradox is that, while women may be doing less actual domestic labor than their grandmothers, the pressure to excel in all areas of life—career, family, and personal well-being—remains immense.
In conclusion, whether one identifies as a trad wife or a working woman, the quest for happiness in the face of evolving gender roles and societal expectations is a shared struggle.
"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." — Ernest Hemingway
Carlyn Beccia is a celebrated author and illustrator. Subscribe to Conversations with Carlyn for insightful content every Wednesday or opt for a paid subscription for exclusive features on Sundays.