Chapter 1: Recognizing Your Value

Are you craving something fulfilling? Let’s think about buffets! They offer the most food for the least amount of money, allowing us to pick and choose what we want. This can feel like a great deal—minimal investment for maximum return. But hold on a second; let’s rethink that.

Stop! Put the Tongs Down

In my experiences with romantic, sexual, and intimate partnerships, I've observed a troubling trend. As someone who embraces their sexuality, I've often had parts of myself selectively taken, while the less desirable aspects—those that are flawed or bruised—were thrown away.

This behavior mirrors our choices at a buffet: we might avoid the sushi because it looks unappetizing, even if the pizza seems appealing. In my healing journey, I recognized that I, too, have been treated in a similar fashion. When asked what I appreciated about myself, the only traits I could mention were those valued by others—traits admired by men from my past.

It's disheartening to realize how much we cling to toxic relationships, often because they provide us with fleeting moments of feeling valued. If these relationships were entirely negative, we would likely leave. However, I found myself lingering for those rare moments when I felt special and wanted. Yet, a single positive experience cannot sustain me indefinitely. Ignoring the larger picture while fixating on a small positive aspect is ultimately harmful.

Remove Yourself from the Menu

Excuse me, could you kindly take me off your buffet? Many people reference the idea of being a priority rather than an option, and this notion resonates with me. When you allow yourself to become a buffet, you permit others to pick and choose what they desire from you while disregarding the rest.

Conversely, when you present yourself as a substantial, flavorful Tomahawk steak, anyone interested must invest time and effort to appreciate you fully—flaws and all. Your unique qualities deserve this level of commitment. If your sexuality is the only aspect being acknowledged while your intelligence and emotional depth are overlooked, it's time to change that narrative.

I've often felt desired in private spaces, yet rarely in public. It’s as if my partner was embarrassed to be seen with me. This dynamic arose because I allowed him access to only a fraction of who I am, letting him dismiss everything else.

The painful truth is that I have permitted this treatment. I am not a victim; I've offered parts of myself due to low self-esteem and self-worth. My tendency to be a buffet stems from my struggle to love myself. I hoped that by revealing my unique qualities, others would also embrace my imperfections. However, that’s not how it works.

You deserve to be appreciated as a complete individual, not merely as a sexual entity. You deserve recognition for your intellect and emotional presence. You deserve unconditional love, whether you are at your lowest or highest points. You are worthy.

I am worthy.

We all deserve to be valued fully. So please, take all of me or none at all. I'm done being a cheap buffet with endless options. If you want to enjoy the Tomahawk steak, then come to the table—otherwise, kindly leave my space.

Feeling hungry? How about joining me for some steak?

For deeper insights into love, relationships, and self-improvement, explore my collections below:

Love, Lust, and Passion: A series of reflections on the loves and passions that motivate us.

The video titled Michael Jackson - Thriller - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' captures the essence of pursuing passion and connection, resonating with the themes discussed above.

Connect with me for more insights on Twitter and Instagram, and join my mailing list for updates directly to your inbox.