Chapter 1: The Struggle of Expression

In the throes of a personal challenge, I find myself at a crossroads: to write about my issues or confront them directly. I have opted for the former.

Writing about my struggles often leaves me feeling disingenuous. I articulate my challenges and suggest solutions that I haven't genuinely explored or applied in my life. While I never claimed to possess all the answers, my writing implied a journey toward self-improvement.

I have never shied away from showing my vulnerability; I believed that by sharing my struggles, I could connect with others and, in turn, heal myself. Yet, after penning over fifty articles, I feel more lost than ever.

Writing serves as a temporary fix, akin to a bandage on an open wound.

I followed the prescribed path—studying and mastering the art of writing on platforms like Medium, hoping to share insights that would resonate with others. I cultivated a capable persona that led some to believe I was navigating toward a brighter future. However, this pursuit has left me feeling directionless and despondent.

Rather than improving myself, I have directed my energy towards enhancing my writing skills. I embarked on this journey to rediscover my voice and reignite my passion for self-growth. In theory, it seemed like a logical step, but in practice, it has felt overwhelming.

I no longer write out of inspiration; instead, I write to validate my existence. My passion has dimmed from a fervent blaze to the faint glow of a bedside lamp.

This self-deception leaves me feeling like a fraud, embarking on a journey I have no intention of completing.

Recent reflections have shown me that this form of writing has rendered me largely unfulfilled. This realization doesn’t signify an end to my writing; rather, it marks a shift in priorities. I must prioritize my personal issues over my writing endeavors. Publishing my thoughts does not equate to addressing my problems.

Writing can provide temporary relief, much like pain medication, easing discomfort in difficult times. However, it should never be mistaken for a long-term solution to maintain well-being.

Through writing, I can identify my inner turmoil, yet I no longer enter into the process expecting it to be a remedy.

This video titled "Have You Ever Wondered If God Is A Hypocrite?" delves into the complexities of morality and self-perception. It challenges viewers to contemplate their beliefs and the discrepancies in human behavior, making it a thought-provoking complement to the themes discussed in my writing journey.

Section 1.1: Reevaluating My Intentions

As I reflect on my motivations, I realize I need to reassess why I write. Initially, I aimed to share insights and foster connection, but it has morphed into a quest for validation.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Weight of Expectation

Chapter 2: The Journey Continues

The second video, "Everybody is a Hypocrite" by Aieysha Ann Mathew, reflects on the universal human experience of hypocrisy. It encourages viewers to embrace their imperfections, resonating deeply with my own reflections on writing and authenticity.